Welcome to my mind...or fragments of it, anyway. Here I will share with you my thoughts and opinions on everything from music, gaming, social networking and random shit I find funny, annoying, ridiculous and worth mentioning. It will not be safe for your kids to read...and, at times, may not be terribly safe to open at work.

You may or may not always agree with what you find here, but you are always welcome to refute, debate and comment on it...and then, immediately go fuck yourself. You have been warned.

Friday, January 13, 2012

My Porn Star Story

A few years ago, probably around '05-ish, I was dating a girl from the mountains of Pennsylvania ( or Pennsyltucky ). Small town, lots of space between houses, quiet and very laid back. Nice change from what I was used to. Anyway, there was really just one grocery store other than a Wal-Mart to do all of your food shopping at...and this is where my story takes place.

We are food shopping one afternoon and , in passing, she exchanges pleasantries with a blonde woman on the other side of the aisle we are in. I'm not really paying attention at first, as I am lagging behind. I was probably trying to figure out why we need fruit snacks in the shape of anything other than fruit or why there aren't any prizes in cereal anymore. I notice it is time for me to catch up and as I pass the woman, we both nod, smile and exchange a "hello". I get two steps past her and realize that I recognize her from somewhere I can't place right then.


I catch up and ask, "who was that?", and she tells me it was Tanya. Apparently, Tanya was new to the area and their kids were in class together. Okay, so "Tanya" rings no bells and I am many miles from home, so I am clearly just reminded of someone else. I shrug it off and get to finishing this shopping trip. A few minutes and several aisles later, we come across her again. Small talk ensues as we do our thing and we, again, move on.


As we get to the register, she is right in front of us, loading her groceries on to the conveyor and they begin talking about some school things: the teacher, some play that is coming up and the possibility of some play dates. The kid behind the register, who was maybe 18 or so, is staring at Tanya and obviously having a hard time keeping his jaw from touching the floor. I think nothing of it, because she is a very pretty girl, even dressed down in sweats and her hair pulled back. They talk some more and now the kid is checking both of them out and enjoying the view - can't blame him.


As she gets ready to pay, she stops and lets her hair down to reestablish it's place on top of her head and out of her face. She shakes her hair out before pulling it back...and it hits me! I know exactly who she is...


It's Gina Lynn!

Okay, so I now have an entirely new perspective on what is going down here. They are chatting away like old friends, and the kid behind the counter ( let's call him Matt ) obviously knows who she is. As his eyes are bouncing back and forth between them, I realize that he thinks they are both porn stars! So, at this point, only 3 out of the 4 of us know what Tanya does for a living...and I can't wait to tell my girlfriend when we leave the store.

She checks out, says "goodbye, talk to ya later, see ya soon" and leaves. We check out, and Matt makes small talk while trying to conceal his shit-eating grin...and what I would imagine was other evidence of his approval. Her and Matt apparently have met before, as it's a small town and it is the only real grocery store. We finish and head to the car. 

We don't even make it across the parking lot and I clue her in on who Tanya is. She, at first, doesn't believe me...but my confidence on the matter convinces her. She does ask for physical proof later, but phones didn't really have the internet capability they do now, so we have to wait until we get home for that.

She still doesn't put two and two together...that Matt obviously knew who she was, and since they were so friendly, she was guilty by association. Matt automatically took one look at her and assumed she was also a porn star. She was beside herself. Not in a shitty, judgmental way...because she was all for adult films even if just watch and make fun of them. She was beside herself because I convinced her that the kid who bags her groceries not only approved of her supposed means of paying the bills, but how he would be showing his appreciation later that night when he was alone with his thoughts. I told her it was a huge compliment coming from a guy...but she didn't see it that way at all.

I'm with ya, Matt!

Apparently, since they live in such a secluded area, porn companies took to buying land and doing their filming in the out-of-the-way woods of Pennsyltucky. Then some of the girls decided it was nice and quiet and moved there, too. 

There is a bit more to this story, but it has nothing to do with this initial meeting. I will save it for another day. And, no, it isn't as wild or crazy as you might imagine...but she was very cool to hang with. And, needless to say, Matt probably still holds that sacred memory in the front of his mind for use from time to time.