Let me start off by saying that I loved my Grandmother very much while she was alive...and think of her fondly to this day. I couldn't have asked for a better influence growing up...and will always be thankful for the help she provided my Mother in raising me. I am in no way attempting to paint her in a bad light, nor am I looking for anyone to feel sorry for me. Quite the opposite.
Growing up in the 70s, it wasn't just acceptable to hit, yell at and embarrass a child...it was expected. Whether you were at home, in church, the grocery store or at the bus stop didn't matter - you cut out of line, you took one for it. If you were acting like a fool and your parent/guardian/babysitter didn't control you - any adult present had the right to yell at you and straighten you out. It seemed normal at the time to us...and it worked.
My Grandmother was one of the most racist people I can ever remember meeting, but it was how she was raised. It was the time that she grew up in. However, she would no sooner finish the word "nigger" and already be wrapping you in the mouth for repeating it. She knew it was wrong, she knew it was disrespectful...but it was instilled in her. It was in her nature to call black people "colored", "niggers", "spear chuckers", "moolies" and "porch monkeys". God forbid I did it, though...and she would just about let them beat my ass. Very much "do as I say, not as I do", I know. But it worked. I said it once...once. That was all it took for me to keep my mouth closed and not repeat any of those epithets. It may not have been the greatest way to teach me respect for other people...but it was what she knew. I learned every ounce of respect for others that I have from my Grandmother and her way of instilling it.
Today, I can't go a full shopping trip at the grocery store, Target, GameStop - anywhere - without watching and listening to kids be blatantly disrespectful to their parents, grandparents and adults in general. And I fully believe that it's because we, as a society, allow them to. We coddle kids in so many ways over the last few years that they can now do whatever the Hell they want without any fear of repercussion. Not from their parents, not from school...and not even from Grandma.
In my house, he'd get another one for flinching.
God forbid you raise your voice to a kid, even your own kid, in front of anyone these days. You might as well call Child Protective Services on yourself when you're done. Don't even consider grabbing a hold of them and letting them know they are out of line - that'll get the cops called to the local McDonald's before the Happy Meal toy is out of the plastic.
Fact is, some kids ( maybe even your kid, I can't say for sure ) are just assholes. They weren't born assholes, either. Just like no one is born racist. It is instilled in them by their parents, caregivers and the people you allow to influence them. Plus, the whole of society adds to the little asshole's self entitlement...
A kid throws a fit at home when he doesn't get his way? Medicate him.
A kid acts out in school when he doesn't want to be there? Medicate him.
A kid has a fit of rage because he loses a game of Connect 4? You guessed it - get the pills!
All we got were Flintstones!
ADD/ADHD has been discussed since the late 1700s in some way, shape or form and in 1937 they started prescribing medication for it. My question is, why wasn't anyone I grew up with ( or our parents ) ever diagnosed with it or medicated for it? I won't bother touching on any conspiracy theories about the pharmaceutical companies looking to make money off of it, as that can be attributed to many other things in life. Instead, I will attribute it to the fact that we weren't coddled and treated with such a "hands off" approach by parents.
When we were kids, if we were hyper and all over the place, bouncing from one thing to another like a bunch of mini coke fiends - it was because we were KIDS! Now it is easier for parents to allow their kids to become literal zombies than actually...I dunno...deal with and interact with them. Fucking shameful.
Your kids don't need medication. they need your Goddamn attention. I know it is a strange concept, but it actually works when applied. Get off of facebook, turn off your iPhone, iPad, iEverything and turn off the fucking TV. You get to be an adult when they go to sleep. Right now, they are awake and very much out of control. Set the DVR so you can watch your bullshit later.
Another source of coddling leading to self-entitlement is clearly sports and any other organized competition. When did we start giving trophies to every kid who signed up for a sport? What is with the "everyone is a winner" bullshit we are feeding these kids? Last Summer I heard a teacher tell a kid, "you didn't lose...you were just the last winner". What the fuck does that mean? Teaching your kids that no one ever loses is a ridiculous way to get them ready for life. An offense that should be punishable by jail time. Okay, that might be a bit harsh, but fines should be levied. Heavy ones.
So now we can't play games at recess that involve picking teams, because someone has to be picked last...and that will hurt their feelings. We can't play dodge ball because that singles kids out...and that will hurt their feelings. Can't play Tag because, well...they have feelings. We can't let them leave without a trophy...all because of their precious feelings. Jesus Christ, am I the only one that has a problem with this shit? Are we, as a society, really okay with sending our kids out in to the "real" world with these types of expectations? Nothing about what you experience after your High School years coincides with the bullshit we are instilling in our kids...and other people's kids.
If your kid is being a disrespectful asshole, to you or a friend or another adult - it's your fault, so you deal with it. You, personally. Not your nosy neighbor. Not the newest "Doctor" with a TV show. Not the hottest developmental problem on the block. Sit with your kids. Experience them. Teach them. Learn from them. Listen to them. Yell at them if you have to. Threaten them if you need to. And don't be afraid to beat them.
It certainly worked when I was a kid, and I didn't grow up to be any type of dysfunctional emo serial killer who cut himself or shot up a school because my feelings were stepped on.
