One Day in February

February 14. This year it's on a Tuesday. On that day, we are held to a standard of "love" that is, for most, unattainable. We must not only remember that oh-so-important day, but also spend an absurd amount of time and money proving that we remembered that day. If we don't, we pay until the second week in February rolls around next year. My question is why?

I'm not going to draw this out and preach about the commercialization of holidays, or how this is a "Hallmark Holiday". Not at all. Only you can choose what you do and how you celebrate this "holiday". Valentine's Day doesn't have to be a day that you go in to debt to celebrate ( though it helps ), so I can't really harp on the commercialization too badly. I, myself, have spent some great Feb. 14ths that cost nothing. Don't get me wrong, it is strictly a commercial holiday...but it pales in comparison to a day like Christmas. At least Valentines Day doesn't use the pretense of religion to make it's money.

My problem is, why can't we just do things that show our love, respect and appreciation just because...I dunno...it's a Thursday? Honestly, why can't I take you out to dinner, make you breakfast in bed, send you flowers, buy you chocolate, tell you I love you and make you feel like you deserve to feel strictly because I feel you deserve it?

For those of you that say, "it's nice to have a day to be reminded how much someone cares for you", I submit that if your boyfriend/husband/significant other needs a reminder to remind you...he probably isn't worth a damn to begin with. Being loved, respected and cared for is supposed to come natural - not forced. If the only time your man does or says anything nice for you is on this day, he was forced to do it. And that really only happens because he doesn't want you mad...and, besides his Birthday, he figures he can at least get a blow job out of the deal. Any honest man will tell you the same.

Anyway, enjoy your Feb. 14th...but remember that it was a card, dinner, flowers that were forced out of pressure and fear. Have a great Tuesday!

Attention All Mothers!

If you do this to your child...

CUT IT THE FUCK OUT!!!

That is all...

Bullying

There is nothing good to say about bullying.  The very definition ( picking on those weaker ) is anathema to humanitarianism. Exposing bad behavior is almost always a good thing. However, there is a fine line between discussing an issue responsibly and throwing a buzz word ( in this case “bullying” ) over everything.

Tossing buzz words around is irresponsible. We saw this happen with the word “stress” about a decade or so ago. Stress became synonymous with anxiety and is now only deemed as negative.  “I’m stressing” became an actual expression. Between you and me, there is nothing negative about stress. Positive excitement is stressful to the body and mind as well. Is bullying ever good? Of course not, but suggesting that an adolescent girl killed herself because of bullying…on facebook, is absurd. It diminishes her troubles and pain ( whatever their genesis ) and demonizes the abstract. Suggesting that she was a victim of her computer and that her screen drove her to death is a wretched portrait to paint of a troubled teenager. In fact, suggesting that anyone was driven to end their life due to bullying smacks of complacency.

No doubt, as adults we may not remember the turmoil of adolescence. Everything was very important and permanent and fraught with drama. Rarely were we our best selves. Our identities only existed as they were reflected back to us by our cohort. What an awful time it was. Adolescents ( particularly girls in the middle school years ) can be pretty nasty as they claw their way to relevance. When we layer this anthropological phenomenon with the current social climate, things can get dire.

Most of us did not grow up in an age of digital cameras and instant ( permanent ) exposure. We probably did not grow up in a world of celebrity ( for no apparent reason ) suggesting we should all live in the spotlight, behave badly, always be styled and airbrushed and party like it’s…you get my point. We probably didn’t grow up during a time when college was seen as a given, and the only path to income, yet was academically and financially unattainable to many. We were independent-ish and expected to manage our own social and even academic world. ( Note: personal responsibility is the key ingredient for self-esteem. )

Adolescence+increased external pressure+diminished internal resources can add up to a troubled teen. Luckily, their world is populated by adults. Teachers, nurses, administrators, coaches and guidance counselors see the good, the bad and the ugly. Parents are in the best position to see the unhappiness in their child. Many do and struggle with how best to care for their child. Depression, either clinical or non-clinical sadness, is frightening in a population known for their lack of impulse control. A teenager who has lost interest in pleasurable activities, and/or has changed his/her sleeping/eating patterns should be seen as in crisis.

Bullying can most certainly push a vulnerable teenager over the edge. So can a bad grade or a romantic break-up. However, when the media hauls out bullying "experts" our limited attention shifts to the external. It is the at-risk adolescent that warrants the attention, not the behavior of others. A healthy and supported teenager will not log on to facebook if it brings unhappiness. A healthy and supported adolescent, no matter how quirky, will not be driven to self-harm by the comments of others. Bullying will always exist, empires were built on it. Where we need to focus is on those adolescents who need support.

Who's the Man on Xbox Live!?

Years ago, when asked in an interview on gamertagpics.com, Beth ( monkeygirl 17 ) gave the sweetest answer I could have ever read:

Who is your favorite person on Xbox Live?

No questions asked, it's my Majestik!!!!!  I love that boy more than anyone one else on here by far!!!  He's probably the only person I know that I would jump on a plane for anything for...and I know he would do the same for me!!! And that's all that matters, I mean come on the countless hours of Rainbow Six, what more could I ask for but someone to sit and play hundreds of hours of Terrorist Hunt with me leading (always) and drink 2 fifths of Jager with me in one day....and well you can't forget defending the Rams against the Patriot fans when we were losing completely filled with Jack and Cokes up until the 4th Qtr!!!   D we've been through so much and some that could never be on this blog b/c it's only ours!!!   Thanks for everything!!!  I love you!!!!

Thanks, Beth! 

My Porn Star Story

A few years ago, probably around '05-ish, I was dating a girl from the mountains of Pennsylvania ( or Pennsyltucky ). Small town, lots of space between houses, quiet and very laid back. Nice change from what I was used to. Anyway, there was really just one grocery store other than a Wal-Mart to do all of your food shopping at...and this is where my story takes place.

We are food shopping one afternoon and , in passing, she exchanges pleasantries with a blonde woman on the other side of the aisle we are in. I'm not really paying attention at first, as I am lagging behind. I was probably trying to figure out why we need fruit snacks in the shape of anything other than fruit or why there aren't any prizes in cereal anymore. I notice it is time for me to catch up and as I pass the woman, we both nod, smile and exchange a "hello". I get two steps past her and realize that I recognize her from somewhere I can't place right then.


I catch up and ask, "who was that?", and she tells me it was Tanya. Apparently, Tanya was new to the area and their kids were in class together. Okay, so "Tanya" rings no bells and I am many miles from home, so I am clearly just reminded of someone else. I shrug it off and get to finishing this shopping trip. A few minutes and several aisles later, we come across her again. Small talk ensues as we do our thing and we, again, move on.


As we get to the register, she is right in front of us, loading her groceries on to the conveyor and they begin talking about some school things: the teacher, some play that is coming up and the possibility of some play dates. The kid behind the register, who was maybe 18 or so, is staring at Tanya and obviously having a hard time keeping his jaw from touching the floor. I think nothing of it, because she is a very pretty girl, even dressed down in sweats and her hair pulled back. They talk some more and now the kid is checking both of them out and enjoying the view - can't blame him.


As she gets ready to pay, she stops and lets her hair down to reestablish it's place on top of her head and out of her face. She shakes her hair out before pulling it back...and it hits me! I know exactly who she is...

It's Gina Lynn!

Okay, so I now have an entirely new perspective on what is going down here. They are chatting away like old friends, and the kid behind the counter ( let's call him Matt ) obviously knows who she is. As his eyes are bouncing back and forth between them, I realize that he thinks they are both porn stars! So, at this point, only 3 out of the 4 of us know what Tanya does for a living...and I can't wait to tell my girlfriend when we leave the store.

She checks out, says "goodbye, talk to ya later, see ya soon" and leaves. We check out, and Matt makes small talk while trying to conceal his shit-eating grin...and what I would imagine was other evidence of his approval. Her and Matt apparently have met before, as it's a small town and it is the only real grocery store. We finish and head to the car. 

We don't even make it across the parking lot and I clue her in on who Tanya is. She, at first, doesn't believe me...but my confidence on the matter convinces her. She does ask for physical proof later, but phones didn't really have the internet capability they do now, so we have to wait until we get home for that.

She still doesn't put two and two together...that Matt obviously knew who she was, and since they were so friendly, she was guilty by association. Matt automatically took one look at her and assumed she was also a porn star. She was beside herself. Not in a shitty, judgmental way...because she was all for adult films even if just watch and make fun of them. She was beside herself because I convinced her that the kid who bags her groceries not only approved of her supposed means of paying the bills, but how he would be showing his appreciation later that night when he was alone with his thoughts. I told her it was a huge compliment coming from a guy...but she didn't see it that way at all.

I'm with ya, Matt!

Apparently, since they live in such a secluded area, porn companies took to buying land and doing their filming in the out-of-the-way woods of Pennsyltucky. Then some of the girls decided it was nice and quiet and moved there, too. 

There is a bit more to this story, but it has nothing to do with this initial meeting. I will save it for another day. And, no, it isn't as wild or crazy as you might imagine...but she was very cool to hang with. And, needless to say, Matt probably still holds that sacred memory in the front of his mind for use from time to time.